


Kahs'wan and Other Journeys

by Cheree_Cargill



Series: The Castaways [9]
Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Attack, F/M, Horses, Kahs'wan, Original Character(s), Romance, Survival Training, Wilderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:01:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27878038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheree_Cargill/pseuds/Cheree_Cargill
Summary: As the younger kids go out on their survival tests, Jenny has gone on her own pilgrimage to work through the loss of her child and the man she intended to marry.  Spock and Christine go after her and discuss the future they want to accomplish.  Little do they know that their lives are about to change.
Relationships: Christine Chapel/Spock, Original Male Character/Original Female Character
Series: The Castaways [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1187033
Comments: 15
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: This is a "Castaways" story. The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc. The story contents are the creation and property of Cheree Cargill and is copyright (c) 2020 by Cheree Cargill. This story is Rated PG13.

The great sweep of prairie spread to the horizon like an ocean, winter brown beginning to be tinged with the newly sprung green of the coming season. The copses of trees, following water courses that meandered across the plain, were sprouting new verdant leaves as well as the multi-colored flowerings of spring growth.

On the plains were slowly moving groups of gray, brown and black, the herds of horses, bison, antelope, and other grazers that fed on the miles of grasslands. Dotted among their number were the first foals, calves and fawns, the advent of hundreds more to come. They were too far away for T'Jenn to hear them, despite her Vulcan range, but she knew that the bleating of the young was joining in with the sound of spring, the twittering of birds and gurgle of meltwater creeks.

With her knees drawn up beneath her chin, the young woman let her mind roam, hoping to find joy in the sights and sounds of reawakening life; but there was one thought that would not leave. The newborn animals gamboling beside their mothers reminded her that she should have been holding her own baby in her arms about this time. Her baby boy, Stefin, lost in her fifth month of pregnancy, would have been due by now. No matter that the child had been conceived without a bonding or marriage, she had wanted him and her empty arms ached.

Jenny had been changed by the past year. No longer was she the slightly giddy teenager who fell in love with a dashing, handsome young man working on the new starbase in orbit. She was now a woman, hardened by the events of loss and pain, and she knew that it was time for her to rediscover herself in a pilgrimage into the wilderness, something her father called _kae'kh't'kotal_. Mind realignment. It was a Vulcan ritual in which one journeyed alone to a far destination in order to meditate and find one's true self.

She had not asked permission. She had merely informed Spock of her intentions and he had approved her decision. And because she knew that her mother would descend into Human panic and forbid it, Christine had remained ignorant until T'Jenn was well away. Spock would tell his wife once Jenny had left on her journey.

The young woman could imagine the scene.

"She did _what?!_ " Christine would cry. "No! Go find her, Spock! Bring her back!!"

"No," her father would respond calmly but sternly. "This is something Jenny needs to do. You remember after T'Larin was killed by the wolf and I nearly went mad. It was only by making my own _kae'kh't'kotal_ that I regained my sanity. Our daughter must now make her own journey into adulthood and strength of mind."

"She's just a child!"

"No. She is a woman. She is nineteen," Spock would say. "She is the age we both were as we took our first steps into manhood and womanhood. I was seventeen when I left Vulcan and joined the Academy. You were the same age as Jenn, when you left home for college and lived on your own."

"This is totally different!" Christine would declare. "We weren't going off into the wilderness!"

"Weren't we? You cannot hold onto her forever, wife. T'Jenn has left the nest to find her own way The Ancestors will watch over her."

"Screw the Ancestors!" Christine would say, tears coming to her eyes. "I want my baby back!"

"She wants her baby back, as well," Spock would reply gently, drawing her into his arms. "We let Sapel go. We have to let Jenny go, too."

On the plains, the subject of their debate shook her head and rose to her feet. She was going north, a direction she had never been before. Shrugging into her backpack, the woman drew her broad-brimmed hat down over her braids and set out again toward the horizon.

* * *

The debate, in fact, began with, "Are you out of your Vulcan mind?!"

Spock quirked up one eyebrow and almost smiled. "You sound like your former boss, my wife. Are you also going to call me a green-blooded, pointy-eared hobgoblin?"

"Don't you dare make light of this!" Christine shot back, her blue eyes blazing. "You go get our daughter immediately!"

"She is an adult, Christine. She has the right to make her own decisions." Spock slipped his hands behind his back and stood like an oak before her.

His wife slammed her fist into his chest. He didn't move. "Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?"

"In fact, I do. You should well recall the years that we lived alone and raised our older children here," the Vulcan reminded her calmly.

"Do you think I could ever forget that?"

"No, I do not. I know exactly how dangerous it is in the wilderness. But it should comfort you somewhat to know that Jenny is armed with a phaser and has a communicator if she needs help. I also mind-melded with her before she left so that I would have some sense of whether or not she is in danger." Spock tilted his head and peered into his wife's face. "She must do this on her own, Christine. If she does not deal with her emotions and learn to control them, plus finishing the pathway of grief for her son, she will never be whole and well again. We must let her go, as we let Sapel go to reach adulthood on his own terms. Our concern now is guiding our other three on their pathways, as well."

Christine shook her head. "Why did we ever come back here, Spock?" she asked, more or less rhetorically. "How could we expose our children to the dangers here?"

"Would they be safer anywhere else?" her husband answered. "Unless we locked them into sealed rooms and never allowed them out, we could not protect them. It is the nature of life. We can only see over them as best we can until they are adults and then we must allow them to follow their own path in life. Jenny has been through a terrible experience and she must learn to live with it. If going on a pilgrimage and performing her version of the _kae'kh't'kotal_ will ease her _,_ then she must do so. Life will not stop for her or any of us."

Christine wiped her face. "Damn your logic, Spock. You can talk me down from anything."

"Only because you know that I am right."

She punched him again. "So … do you know where she is going?"

"Not exactly. I know she was going to the cave valley to sit beside Stefin's grave and meditate, then I believe she was heading off to the north. We have not fully explored that area. I will be interested in learning what she finds."

Christine sighed. "Well, I better go fix my make-up and get back to the med center. What is on your agenda today?"

"More reports, as usual." Spock sighed as well and crossed his arms. "I almost wish I was with Jenn and exploring again," he said. "I grow tired of the administrative duties of overseeing this colony."

Surprisingly, she nodded. "Yes, I hoped that I would be more involved in bioresearch, in cataloguing the microfauna of this planet. It _has_ fallen into an endless routine, hasn't it?"

"Indeed. When did we become the parents of _all_ the people here?" Spock paused then bent down and kissed her lightly. "However, at the moment, I must return to work."

"Me, too. I'll see you tonight." And they parted to go to their separate responsibilities.

* * *

Spock was sitting behind his desk at home, catching up on reports to be sent to Starfleet, when there was a soft knock at the door and Sapel stepped in before he could reply.

"Hi, Pop."

The Vulcan's eyebrows went up automatically. "Pop?" he answered. "I am not a Terran carbonated drink, Sapel. You seem to have been trying out various new appellations for me."

"Sorry, _Papa_ ," the young man replied, flushing a bit. "I've just heard other people address their fathers that way. May I talk with you?"

Spock indicated the chair across from his desk and settled back into his own swiveling chair, resting his elbows on the arms and folding his fingers together before him.

His son adjusted his own chair and got comfortable. "Have you had any indication how Jenn is doing? I know you did a mind meld with her so that you could … uh … read her if need be."

"Indeed. However, I have only received impressions of contentment and other emotions from her. There has been no indication of trouble."

"That's good. Pa, I think it's time to take Soran out for his _kahs'wan_. He's as ready as he'll ever get. Moreover, I'd like to take the girls out for their own survival tests. I'll stay close enough by to both of them that I can help if they get into serious trouble. What do you think?"

Spock was silent for a moment then nodded. "An excellent idea. Jenn is on what amounts to a journey of maturity and your mother has been worried about her being out on her own. I believe that I will take her for a short pilgrimage to follow Jenny and escort her home. If that's what she wants." Spock let his brows draw together in a slight frown. "Your sister has many decisions to make, plus settle the grief of her loss. That must be her own choice. We cannot interfere with that."

Sapel nodded. "Then I'll wait until you get Mama out of the house and on her way with you. If she knew I was taking the little kids out into the wilderness, she'd have a panic attack and refuse to let us go."

"I agree. I'll make arrangements with her and we will set out, then you and the children can leave. Do you know where you will be going?"

Sapel nodded again. "I'm taking the girls to the cave and leaving them there, but I want to see if I can contact the Teeli and talk with them. It will be a good place to drop Soran for a few days."

"Then I shall begin my own arrangements and convince your mother that this is something we need to do." Spock looked more relieved now that the decision was made. "I believe that I am looking forward to another journey into the wilderness. It has been much too long."

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

"I don't see why we couldn't have just taken a skimmer," complained Christine as she tried to get comfortable in the saddle. "I haven't ridden in way too long."

"Because a skimmer would have defeated the purpose of our journey," her husband replied, comfortable on his own mount, the chestnut gelding named Quasar. Christine was up on grey gelding Pulsar and white mare Luna was following along on a line behind, carrying their camping gear.

"I thought we were going to find Jenny," she replied edgily. "Why do we have to ride, anyway? My butt is already hurting."

Spock looked over at his wife, a slightly hard glint in his eyes. "Have you listened to yourself lately, Christine? For the past few months, you have complained and nagged about everything. You are always cross and tense, finding fault, and especially since Jenny lost the baby. It does not take a psychological expert to see that you are burned out and have an excessive amount of anxiety."

"I do not!" she shot back. "It's just that… Well, that…" Christine shut up and didn't say anything more for a while. Finally, she admitted, "You're right. I've turned into a real bitch, haven't I?"

"No, I would not put it that way, but I think that the stress levels in our family have reached a breaking point," Spock answered. "We have discussed this more than once. Our returning to Avalon is not what we expected. I believe that we had pictured a coming back to our rustic life here, living on our own, raising our children without the heavy trappings of a Federation civilization, and especially not with the burdens of administering a colony and all of its problems."

Christine sighed heavily. "There have been so many deaths since we got here … Sapel's crew, your mother, Jenny's baby, the people lost in the earthquake…" She shook her head. "We haven't really dealt with them, have we? We've done the same as we did on the ship – brushed them by and gone on to the next crisis because we didn't have any choice. Spock, what choice do we have here? I'm asking you seriously now, not rhetorically."

The Vulcan looked down at his hands, loosely holding the reins of his horse as the animal moved smoothly along. "We can leave. Go back to Vulcan or Earth or another Federation planet."

"And be right back where we started," Christine replied. "Our kids weren't responding well to that sort of life. That's why we left in the first place and came back here."

"Agreed. Especially since I gave up all my rights to Keldeen and my position on Vulcan, there is no place there to which I wish to return." He turned his gaze to the miles of prairie ahead. "We could leave our duties at Alpha Colony and go back to essentially living the life we had before we were rescued."

"Thanks, but I'm too old to live in a cave again," his wife smiled sardonically. "I was complaining then about my bones aching when it was going to rain."

"I do recall that," Spock smiled back. "And I have no wish to live in a cave again either. No, there must be some sort of middle ground we can reach."

"But what about our duties? We can't just walk away from them. We have responsibilities that we took on when we came back here."

"I know. But we had responsibilities with Starfleet as well. We decided that raising our children took a higher priority."

Christine shook her head. "I don't know. I'm so torn right now that I can't think straight."

"And that is why we are taking this journey on horseback, my wife," Spock answered. "It will give us time to clear our thoughts and make wiser decisions." He reached out a hand to her and she took it. The tingle of intimacy zipped between them for the seconds that their fingers touched. Then they drew back their hands and turned their gazes back toward the horizon.

* * *

"Hey, you," said a soft female voice behind him as Sapel was in the process of saddling one of the horses in the stable. He spun around and a welcome smile spread across his face.

"Hey, yourself!" he answered and caught Maia Hendrickson in his arms. "What are you doing here?"

"Visiting," the young black-haired woman replied and pulled away. "It looks like I just caught you. Are you going camping or something?"

"In a sense. The kids are going out on their survival journeys," Sapel answered. "How long are you here?"

"I'm kind of open-ended on that. I'm taking a break from my duties over at Beta and I thought I'd come see how you are doing." Maia's green eyes were soft and luminous as she peered up at her long-time friend and lover. "I was hoping to spend some time with you, but if you're about to leave…"

"Come with us," Sapel responded, catching up one of her hands. "Do you know how to ride? We aren't going really far away and we'll be out just a week or so."

"What do I need?" the girl asked. "I brought some things with me, but I expected to stay here in the colony."

"You don't need much. We're going to rough it … if you don't mind getting dirty and eating off the land." The young man grinned. "You can share my tent and we'll make do with one sleeping bag."

"Oh, that sounds like you have ulterior motives!"

"Could be." Sapel pulled her against his body and leaned down to kiss her. "Come on, it'll be fun."

"With the kids around?"

"No, the kids will be off doing their own things. It'll just be you and me for a couple of days." Sapel's brown eyes softened and held a pleading look that she thought she could feel through his embrace. The sexual tingle caused her to shiver just a bit and suddenly she wanted him, too.

"Okay," she answered. "Let me get a few things from my flitter. And saddle me a horse, a gentle one if you don't mind. I'm not much of a rider."

* * *

T'Jenn had walked for three days, across the prairies cut through with occasional creeks lined with stubby trees and brush. Wildlife was everywhere, including huge herds of _mesohippus_ , the small horse-like animals that resembled early three-toed versions of equines on Earth. Dun-colored with stiff, erect dark-brown manes, most were female and now had young foals at their sides. There were also antelope-type creatures mixed in with the horses, new fawns following does. Farther away were small herds of black bison, brown calves breaking up their monocolored groups.

As Jenny walked farther north, she saw grazers that weren't familiar. Some were oddly striped or spotted to blend in with the landscape. Once she saw a predator that resembled a big cat, nearly invisible in the grass as it stalked its prey.

At night, she camped near water if she could, but was aware that a watering hole would attract all sorts of plains dwellers, both predator and prey, and she kept her phaser close at hand. She didn't build a fire at either camp. The nights were chilly, but spring was well upon the land and she was warm enough wrapped in her blankets. Meals were what she had brought with her.

It was during the evenings, when the sky was black and dusted with innumerable stars that she thought of Stefin and Eddie and what could have been. She felt abandoned and betrayed, her emotions playing between grief and despair and anger. 

Contrary to his promises, Eddie hadn't contacted her. It was possible that he was in prison by now, doing time for his desertion from the Corps of Engineers. Starfleet was not lenient toward people who jumped ship and ran for it. But he could have gotten a note off to her, in which case perhaps it was aboard a mail ship making its slow way across the vast distances to Avalon. She wouldn't give up on him yet. A part of her _did_ love him. She just wasn't sure how much.

The next morning dawned bright and cloudless with a promise of heat. Jenny broke camp, shrugged on her backpack and set out on her route. She had never been this far away from home in this direction and was curious to see what lay ahead. The prairies slowly morphed into rolling hills, sparsely wooded and beginning to bloom with new blossoms on what were evidently fruit-bearing trees. Bushes and vines added to the array of color as their own spring growth added reds, pinks and whites to the new green. It was too early yet for prairie flowers but it wouldn't be long.

While she walked, Jenny tried not to think, but inevitably her mind turned to her lost baby. _What would he have looked like?_ she wondered. With his father's Indian blood, she imagined he would have had black hair and dark brown eyes. Would he have had any Vulcan features? Would his little ears have been pointed like his grandfather's people?

"You have pictured me well, Mother," came a male voice beside her.

Jenny jumped sideways with a cry and fell, so startled that she couldn't speak for a minute. There was a tall, dark-skinned man standing beside her, dressed in casual clothing and tall moccasins. "Who are you?!" she demanded at last. "Where did you come from?!"

He laughed gently. "I'm Stefin," he answered with a smile. "Don't worry. You're not going crazy. I'm not really here. I'm the _katra_ that you carry within your mind. You summoned me with your thoughts."

"I … I don't believe you!" the woman quavered but managed to get to her feet. "Who are you really?"

"I told you," the young man replied. "I'm your son. Or what your son would have become had I lived. Don't feel that you've lost me. I'm always within you and part of you."

She peered at him closely. "You look like Eddie," she finally said. "You look just like your father."

"Is that so surprising?" Stefin replied. His long ebony hair blew gently in the wind, his strong hands hanging by his side and his broad chest swelling beneath his partially unbuttoned shirt.

"No, no, I guess not," Jenny answered. "But why are you here? Or not here … or whatever. Gods, I don't understand this at all."

"Because you carry him close to your heart," came another voice, a female one, and T'Jenn swung around to stare in shock at the ancient Vulcan woman now standing behind her.

"Oh, no, not another one! I have gone stark raving mad!"

The old woman chuckled. "No, Granddaughter. I am T'Oman, a distant ancestor of yours. Has your father not told you of Nome, meaning All? We are all part of you, T'Jenn. We are all in your mind, in your soul. It does not matter whether we are Vulcan or Human. It is all the same."

"I … I can't believe that this is happening," the young woman murmured, bringing her hands up to hold her head. "I must be having sunstroke or something."

"You're fine, Mother," said Stefin. "It's the reason you have undertaken this journey. It is to settle your soul and mind. Simply accept us. We're here to help you."

Jenny shook her head and opened her eyes. The two were still there, as solid as if they were real. "This is not logical," she said.

Stefin laughed in a deep voice that was so like Eddie's. "On the contrary. T'Oman can tell you that logic is a big part of this. It is logical that you center yourself and accept what is."

" _Kai'idth_ ," agreed the old Vulcan woman, her crinkled face pulling into a smile. "You understand that, don't you, Granddaughter?"

"Yes. What is, is," T'Jenn answered. "I've heard my father say it so many times."

"Then accept it," responded Stefin. "I am part Vulcan, too. I am part of your _katra_. But come. Your journey is not finished. You have a long way to go. What does your poet say? 'Miles to go before I sleep'?"

"Yeah. Robert Frost. 'The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.'"

"Then, let us go," Stefin said. And they all started out again.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

The girls were not happy as they were left alone at the cave site and they watched Sapel, Maia and Soran ride away toward the river.

"Now what?" asked T'Larin of her sister.

T'Kai looked thoughtful and said, "I suppose the first thing to do is look after the horses. Let's unsaddle them and wipe them down, then turn them loose to graze. I don't think they'll go too far. Then we can set up a camp in the cave. Mama and Papa lived for a long time here, you know."

"Yeah, I know." The younger girl looked troubled. "I don't like it here. I have nightmares about this place."

"You've never been here," T'Kai pointed out in a logical tone of voice.

"Kai, I was born here," T'Larin argued. "And I died here, too."

"That wasn't you, Lari. That was another person a long time ago." Still, the older girl could see that her sister was troubled.

"My _katra_ remembers it." T'Larin's blue eyes were bright with tears. "Mama says that me and Soran had our _katras_ return to us when we were born. But that our original bodies both died in this cave and we're buried under the big tree down by the river."

"Well … whatever you say. Mama should know. But let's get to work on setting up our camp and tending to the horses. Half the day is gone and we need to be prepared for however long we're here." The black-haired Vulcan girl started towards the two mounts they had ridden here and her sister followed gloomily.

* * *

"I don't wanna stay here!" whined Soran, looking fearfully around at the trees of the forest. "Why do I haveta do this?"

"Because you're nearly nine years old and should have had your _kahs'wan_ over a year ago," replied Sapel. "You're a Vulcan male and this is your manhood test. We've been preparing you and you're ready to do it."

"I don't _feel_ ready," answered the boy. "Anyway, I'm more human than Vulcan, just like you."

"And just like me, you need to do this. I did it when I was seven and I got through it okay. I expect that my test was a lot harder than yours will be." The older brother looked stern. "All you have to do is get through three or four days. It's important to know that you can survive because you never know when it might be real. Don't worry. Maia and I won't be too far away but finding us will be part of the test, too."

"I'll bet Papa never had to do this," Soran complained.

To his surprise, Sapel laughed. "Papa went into the Sas-a-Shar Desert on his own. Just be glad that you don't have to contend with walking venomous plants and huge wild cats with poisoned claws. If his sehlat hadn't followed him, he might not have made it. The sehlat didn't!"

Sapel turned back to his horse and mounted. Settling into the saddle, he took up the reins and turned the bay horse towards the river where Maia was waiting. "Okay, as of right now, you're on your own. See you in a few days."

He nudged the horse's flanks with his heels and left the boy standing alone at the edge of the forest, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks.

* * *

"I don't like leaving him that way," said Maia Hendrickson as they rode along the river bank.

"He'll be okay," answered Sapel. "Believe me, this is for his own good. Mama has coddled him since he was born and it's made him weak. He's got to learn to think for himself and know how to survive on this planet. Avalon is a beautiful place, but it can also be very dangerous. I know. I've got the scars to show for it."

"You never told me that."

"I will one of these days. Anyway, I have something I need to do." Sapel looked towards the forest, searching up into the branches. "I need to find the Teeli and talk to them.""

"Teeli?" Maia's expression was puzzled. "What's that?"

"Who's that, you mean. They're the natives of this planet. Some people call them lemurs, but they're intelligent and the reason Avalon is partially restricted. If it weren't for the fact that the Federation wants a presence here with the new starbase in orbit, then the whole planet would be quarantined. We're just inside the Neutral Zone, you know."

Maia nodded. "Yes, I do. So, you know these Teeli people?"

"Another long story," the young Vulcan smiled, turning to her. She was uncommonly beautiful, he thought, watching her long black hair blow in the breeze. "But we need to get a few more miles down the river and set up a camp. I'm looking forward to sharing that sleeping bag!"

* * *

T'Jenn had discovered that her spectral companions only appeared when she was walking with her mind wandering from her immediate surroundings or when she had settled down at night and was peering aimlessly into her campfire. Stefin appeared most often because he was whom she thought about the most.

This evening, she had eaten a small supper of pre-packed stew and was now huddled into the warmth of her sleeping blanket. As the sun had gone down, the temperature had dropped although there was no sign of rain. The three moons were up and moving across the clear sky in crescent phase. Otherwise, the stars shone brightly in obscure constellations. They had never gotten around to naming them when she was growing up here on Avalon. Spock maintained that it was illogical to make shapes out of random positions of stars.

"They're different here," said a male voice and, unsurprised, she turned her gaze on her son, sitting cross-legged beside her.

"Here?" she asked.

"On this planet as opposed to Earth," Stefin responded.

"Well, of course, they are. We're parsecs away from Earth. Anyway, I've never been there."

"That one looks like a dragon," the young man said.

"What's a dragon?"

"A big, mythical reptile that flies. Can you see its wings?"

"Don't be silly."

"I'm not!" Stefin answered. "Humans have been naming the patterns they saw in the stars since the first cave man looked up and thought he saw something there."

"Okay, then, smarty, what would you call those stars?" Jenny looked skeptically at her ghostly son.

"Draco, of course." Stefin let his gaze wander over the bright stars above. "And I'd call those four stars there the Northern Cross. We _are_ in the northern hemisphere, aren't we?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Because on Earth there is a Southern Cross, as seen from the southern hemisphere." The handsome young man looked back at his mother. "You try one."

Jenny was silent for a while, her eyes roaming over the heavens. Then she pointed to a particular grouping and said softly, "I'd call that one The Baby."

"Why?"

Tears came to her eyes and her voice choked. "Because it looks like a baby reaching up for its mother."

Stefin was quiet for a moment then gazed appraisingly at the woman. "Because you see me reaching up for you, is that it?"

"Yes." Jenny wiped her face with the palm of her hand and turned to gaze at the dark-haired man, her eyes roaming over his high cheekbones and almond-shaped brown eyes, so much like his father, Eddie Running Horse, and yet also with a hint of Vulcan features. "I never got to hold you or love you. I never got to say goodbye."

"Isn't that what you're doing now, Mother?" He reached out but couldn't quite touch her. He wasn't really there, only a figment of her mind. "Aren't you here to say goodbye to me?"

"No! I don't want to say goodbye! I want you back!" Jenny was sobbing again.

Stefin turned his face back to the stars. "I'm right there, Mother. As long as the stars last, you can look up and see me there. Grieve for your loss, but accept it. As my grandfather would say, it is logical."

She laughed involuntarily. "Yeah, he'd say that alright."

"And remember that he and your mother lost children, too."

"But they got them back! Soran and T'Larin came back to them when their _katras_ were reborn! Oh, Stefin, I want you back, too!"

He shook his head slowly. "It doesn't always happen. The _katras_ return to the _aTha_ , where one day they may choose to return -- what Humans call reincarnation -- but not always. And I'm mostly Human, remember. My father is fully Human. I would have been only one-eighth Vulcan."

Jenny wiped her face again, looking down. "I'm so confused."

"And tired. Go to sleep, Mother. Lie down and go to sleep. Your journey is not yet over but you are getting there."

The young woman did as she was told, wrapping herself in her blanket and settling down before the dying fire. She was asleep before she knew it.

* * *

Spock drew Christine against his body and enfolded her with his arms. It felt so good to have her bare skin against his once again. It seemed like such a long time since they had made love and were totally alone, no distractions from children or business or other things that forced themselves between them.

"Mmmmm…" Christine murmured. "I can feel your thoughts. You're projecting."

"So I am," he answered back. "Our Bond is strong, my wife."

She chuckled, snuggling against him. "Don't close it yet. I have a feeling we're not done tonight."

"Indeed. I feel your needs. It is pleasant to lie with you under the stars here. It makes me think of the old days when we would travel and take any opportunity to have intercourse."

She outright laughed now. "Intercourse? Spock, we just plain fucked sometimes! You still have the hottest bod I've ever known!"

"Indeed?" he repeated, now sending an incredulous gaze down at her. "And how many … um … 'bods' have you experienced?"

"Oh, a few," she answered with a crooked smile. "Roger, for one. Some in college, a few on shore leaves. Don't tell me you haven't had a few yourself."

"Vulcans do not--"

"Yeah, yeah. Same song, second verse." Christine pushed herself up to gaze down at his face, shadowy in the firelight. "Zarabeth? Leila? That Romulan babe?"

"Zarabeth, yes." He grew more serious. "The others, no. I will admit to two or three trysts at the Academy, perhaps a couple more on shore leave in the early days, but no more. You are the only one I desire, my wife. We are bonded and will stay that way until one of us dies. I do not wish anyone else. You are my one love."

She smiled. "And you are mine, husband. And it's nice to hear you say it." She lay back down in his arms and they were quiet for several minutes, just savoring one another's warmth.

Finally Christine asked softly, "Do you think we'll catch up with Jenny tomorrow? She can't be too far ahead of us."

"Highly probable, since she is on foot and we're on horseback. I sense that she is reaching the end of her quest. Her mind is growing peaceful and she is coming to accept her loss."

"And can you sense the other kids? I didn't like Sapel and Maia taking them off by themselves." Her body tensed a bit in his arms. "What if something happens to them?"

"They are in good hands and Sapel will not have taken them far. He has promised to keep a watchful eye on them until their tests are over. Now, rest your mind and turn your attention back to us. I think you need another motivation to work out your tensions."

With that, he pulled her against him and brought his mouth down on hers, kissing her solidly and thoroughly. She gave in, sliding a leg over his hips as she felt his firm and fiery length of flesh come alive between them. He slipped a hand down to her buttocks and pulled her even more insistently against him, prodding into the wet valley he sought. 

By the time he rolled her beneath him, she had forgotten about her troubles and concentrated on the man she loved beyond all else.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

Maia sat up from Sapel's warm embrace and straddled his hips, loving the feel of his maleness between her legs. It was really too chilly in the darkness to expose her bare skin to the night air, but it was exhilarating as well. The firelight reflected off his long black hair and painted a golden patina on his skin, highlighting the Vulcan features that belied his mostly Human ancestry.

"What are you thinking?" Sapel asked, running his big hands up over her ribs and around to her full breasts.

"How much I love you," she replied, shivering slightly at his touch. "How I want to stay with you and never leave your side."

"We could arrange that," he answered softly. "Why don't we get married when we get back to the colony? Don't you remember that I wanted to marry you back when we were teenagers on Risa? You didn't want me then."

"Not true," the young woman retorted. "We were just too young and I realized it. We both needed to grow up. But … shouldn't we get our parents' permission to marry? They'd want to know first."

"Who just said we were both grown up?" His brown eyes laughed as he gazed at her. "We don't need to ask permission."

"Their blessings then."

"Nope, not even that. We're both adults now and on our own. Tell you what … how about we throw a big party and invite our parents and friends?" Sapel ran his hands up her arms to her shoulders. "We can have our wedding there and in their presence."

"Or we could go back to Risa and get married on the beach like your folks did." She leaned forward to rest her hands on his strong shoulders.

He laughed. "And how will we be getting there, pray tell? Risa is way the hell across the Alpha Quadrant and we don't have any starships at our disposal. No, it's more … pardon me … logical to have the ceremony here. We can patch your folks in by subspace and they can be a part of it all that way. Should we get back to Risa, we can hold another ceremony there at your mom's resort and patch in _my_ folks."

"I like it," she responded and sank back down into his arms, bringing her lips down onto his, kissing him thoroughly and long. When she lifted her head a big, she whispered, "There's just one thing. You haven't actually asked me yet."

"Oh! Well, then … Maia Lelani Hendrickson, will you marry me?" Sapel's expression had turned serious.

Her green eyes glistened with moisture. "David Sapel cha Spock, yes. Yes, I will marry you!"

He pulled her into a strong embrace and their mouths came back together enthusiastically, then he rolled her over into the warmth of their shared sleeping bag and their bodies came together as well.

* * *

T'Kai had taken charge and gotten things moving. She had turned their horses loose to graze and directed her younger sister to gather firewood and bring it back to the cave that had served as a home to her parents for so many years. Of course, they could have simply ridden back to Alpha Colony but that would have been dishonorable since they were both supposed to be undergoing a survival test.

While T'Larin gathered wood, Kai lugged the saddles and other tack up the slope to the cave and stored them there. In their saddle bags was enough food for one night. Tomorrow they would have to begin searching for the means to keep themselves fed and healthy for another few days. The girls had been undergoing survival training the same as Soran and T'Kai was confident that she could recognize edible foods and things that were to be avoided. Her logical Vulcan thought processes were already categorizing things that needed to be done and ways to do them.

Once she had the horses taken care of, she joined T'Larin in getting firewood and tinder. It was getting dark as the sun set and the two girls retreated to the security of the cave. "Let's get a fire started," said the elder. "Do you remember how?"

"Yeah, do you have the fire stones?" T'Larin answered. "I don't like it up here."

"It should be safe enough. Mama and Papa lived here for years. Sapel was born here."

T'Larin looked unhappy. "So was I," she mumbled.

T'Kai turned her dark eyes on her sister. "No, you were born on Vulcan. That was someone else who was born in this cave."

"Physically," T'Larin responded, her slightly slanted brows coming together in a frown. "Kai, my former self was born and immediately died here. My _katra_ knows it and I know it, too. Sometimes I have nightmares about it. It's like I was living that experience first-hand and it terrifies me."

T'Kai looked sympathetic and patted the younger girl's hand. "I'm sorry. I know that you are not making this up. The _katra_ is a complicated thing. Papa says that all of our ancestors live within it and I suppose that your former self does as well. But let's get the fire started and you'll feel better. Then we can get some food and tea and talk about what we're going to do tomorrow."

"Okay." T'Larin cast a worried look at the open cave entrance. "Is there any way we can close that? I'd feel a lot safer."

Kai scanned the area and her eyes fell on something leaning on the wall next to the small entrance. "There! I think that's the barrier that was used to close it. It must have just been left here when the cave was vacated." She got up and retrieved a woven lattice work of branches that just fitted into the natural doorway. "We'll hang one of the saddle blankets over it to block it even more and keep out the night chill."

"That'll work," T'Larin answered, looking happier already. "Thanks, sis."

The two girls then got to work laying and starting the fire, T'Kai bending over the little pile of plant fuzz and dried grass they had gathered and knocking the pieces of pyrite and flint together until the sparks produced caught. She leaned down and gently blew on the ember until a tiny flame burst into being. Then she fed sticks and more tinder until the fire was snapping merrily. 

After that, the sisters pulled out their blankets and spread them beside the fire and opened the packets of food they'd brought with them. Canteens of water slacked their thirst. "We'll refill these tomorrow from the stream," Kai said, chewing her way through her sandwich.

"Isn't that sort of unsanitary?" Lari responded.

"We all drank from it. You get the water where it's running fast and it'll be okay. We're supposed to be roughing it, remember?"

"I still don't like it, but I suppose that's the point of this, isn't it?" T'Larin turned back to her own meal. Then, "What's that?!" she said, alarmed.

From the outside and far away, they heard a long howl that was answered by others. Both girls stopped and listened. "It's wolves," T'Kai answered, trying not to appear as worried as she felt. "Don't be afraid. They're not anywhere close. I think they're hunting up on the plains. They won't bother us."

T'Larin shivered involuntarily. "I hate those things! It was one of them that killed my other self."

Kai slipped her arm around her little sister and pulled her close. "We're safe here." _I hope_ , she added to herself and hugged the other girl tightly.

* * *

Soran wiped the tears from his face and stood thinking about what he needed to do. Sapel had unsaddled his horse for him and carried the tack up to the clearing where he'd left his brother. The boy now thought of simply going back home, but he didn't think he could heft the heavy stock saddle onto the horse's back. The young Vulcan was slight of build and not very tall for his age. A pony he could have managed, but not the big quarter horse that Sapel had purposely chosen for him.

With a sigh, Soran decided he didn't have any choice except to stick it out, at least through the night. He set about gathering firewood and tinder to make a fire in a bare spot of the clearing. There was no danger of the flame spreading to grass or trees here and soon the little campfire was crackling merrily and scattering its light and warmth against the rapidly falling twilight.

Soran got out the food he'd brought and sat cross-legged on his sleeping bag, Tomorrow, he'd have to look for something to eat and a clean-running stream to refill his canteen. There was no way he could use the river. The water was muddy and besides there were crocodilian-type lizards that lived farther south. He didn't know if they lived here, too, or if there were things just as deadly.

Even as he thought of the dangers here, far away he heard faint howls and recognized the sounds as hunting werewolves. He didn't know if others lived in these woods but his skin prickled at the thought. What could he do to keep himself safe? he wondered. The trees around him were tall and some had lower hanging branches that he thought he could reach by climbing up the trunks a short way. Could wolves climb? Surely not. They were ground dwellers, but their sharp claws might be able to find purchase in the bark.

The howls sounded closer and Soran began to panic. Would the fire keep them away? Maybe he'd better build it up higher and be prepared to retreat if he had to. He had his knife but it seemed very feeble if he had to fight for his life. He pulled it from its scabbard and got ready, just in case.

Without warning, he heard footsteps coming his way. Not human footsteps, but the pad of an animal foot, crunching the leaves and getting closer all the time.

Soran got to his feet and brandished his knife, then gave a little scream as the ugly head of a werewolf became visible in the firelight.

But instead of attacking, the creature gave a familiar little "woof" and sauntered up to him. It was Joey, the wolf pup that Sapel had saved and raised. The animal was now nearly full grown and a formidable predator, but also a beloved family pet.

Soran sank to his knees and put his arms around the wolf's neck, hugging him. "Joe! Am I glad to see you! What are you doing here? Did you follow us?"

The wolf licked the boy's face and nuzzled against him, whining. "Are you hungry, boy? Here, I've got some of my sandwich left. You want it?"

The big animal wriggled with pleasure as Soran fed him. Then he settled down and curled up on the ground close beside the fire. The boy sat down near him and felt more relieved than he had been. Joey would keep watch and protect him through the night. With the wolf's help, he felt sure he would get through his _kahs'wan_ just fine.

* * *

T'Jenn peered down into the long, deep trench of the river that blocked her path. It was about 20 feet deep and nearly 70 feet wide, evidence that there were frequent floods that had cut the river deep into the red earth. Now there was only a lazy stream that meandered over the muddy bed, breaking into multiple channels in the silt.

"Is there any way across that?" she mused to herself.

"I wouldn't try it," Stefin's voice replied and she looked up to find her ghostly son also gazing down at the riverbed. "Quicksand," he concluded.

"How do you know?" the young woman retorted. "You've never seen quicksand in your life!"

"Not that I had much of one," her son responded sardonically. "But you've never seen it either."

"Shut up. I'm getting sick of you." Jenny straightened and glared at his spectral figure.

"I agree with him," came an elderly woman's voice and Jenn turned to find her Vulcan ancestor, T'Oman, on the other side. "We do not have this type of quicksand on Vulcan, but there are sinks in the sand that will suck you under just as quickly. Beware of obvious traps, daughter. In all the paths you walk."

"What's that supposed to mean?" T'Jenn answered, frowning. "You're not talking about physical things, are you?"

"There are many traps in life," the old woman said. "Emotions can trap you just as surely. And they may come in the most pleasing guise."

"Oh, I see. You mean I got trapped by my emotions with Eddie." T'Jenn was angry now. "What business is that of yours? I loved him."

"Loved, yes, but do you love him now?" T'Oman peered calmly back at the girl, her black eyes bright as onyx. "He is gone. He will not return to you. It is time to let him go."

"He _will_ return to me!" Jenny almost stamped her foot, tears coming to her eyes. "I know he will."

"Mother," Stefin said gently, "he will not return. Free yourself from him. You were but a dalliance to him. You cannot move on to your destiny until you let him go, just as you must let me go."

Jenny's face crumpled and she allowed the tears to flow down her cheeks unheeded. "Steffie, you're my son! I can't let you go!"

"Yes, I'm your son and I will always be in your _katra_ , but my physical body is already returning to the earth. Don't dwell on me. There are other children in your future and another man to sire them. One who will stand by your side here. Let the past fade into the past."

"Another man? Who?"

"He will come when it is time. You will know him."

"It is time we leave you, as well, daughter," added T'Oman. "But we will be near when you need us."

With that, both Stefin and T'Oman faded away and Jenny found herself standing alone on the high banks of the rust-colored river. Quicksand, she thought. Her entire life had been pocked with pools of quicksand. It was time to be more observant and wary. She vowed never to fall into its grips ever again.

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

"Are you sure we're going in the right direction?" asked Christine wearily. They had been riding for three days now.

"I am sure," Spock answered, scanning the landscape. "I sense we are close now."

"I hope so," his wife replied. "My butt is sore. I've never ridden so much in my life."

"You told me once that you had a horse when you were growing up in Ohio."

"Yeah, but that was years ago! I'm out of practice."

"We should remedy that. Riding is good exercise and very relaxing," the Vulcan said. "I occasionally rode _hoxa_ at Keldeen before I left for Starfleet. You've been there. You've seen the animals we raise there."

Christine looked at him. "Raised, you mean. You gave Keldeen to your cousin before we left Vulcan."

"True, but it is still our family estate." Spock looked over at her, his dark eyes calm and penetrating. "Should we ever return to Vulcan, we would be welcome to stay there again."

" _Do_ you want to return?" Christine asked, her blue eyes meeting his. "Do you want to talk seriously about this? We've skirted around it but not really _talked_ about it."

Spock faced forward again, gazing meditatively over his horse's bobbing head. "We made a decision in returning here, Christine. I see no logic in replaying the subject."

"There is no logic in living in misery either," she pointed out. "Are you really happy here? Is our life what you thought it would be?"

He was silent for a long moment then admitted, "No. It is not. But we have made commitments. Should we shirk those responsibilities?"

"We have responsibilities to our children … and to ourselves." Christine looked away, her gaze focusing on the landscape around them. "Spock, I'm tired. I still have a lot of years in me, not to mention yours, but I feel like I'm not giving our kids their full due. I want to spend time with them and watch them grow. I'm especially worried about Soran. He doesn't seem to be developing the way he should. And I don't think I'm with T'Larin as much as I should be. I think she feels neglected."

Spock sighed. "And what would you have us do, Christine? Simply quit our positions here and take our family and live in the wilderness? We knew what we were signing up for when we accepted this assignment. We cannot just walk away."

"And why not?" She turned, her expression challenging. "Why not just walk away? Live like we intended to live?"

"For one thing, we have a duty to fulfill," he replied.

"We have a duty to our kids, too," she retorted.

"Indeed…" Spock turned his eyes forward again. "It seems that there is no satisfactory answer. T'Kai needs training in her Vulcan skills. She is very telepathic. I sense that T'Larin is, too. Soran… I have no idea how to help Soran develop. I have sluffed that duty off onto Sapel, but he needs to be living his own life now." He paused. "I believe that he will marry Maia very shortly. They seem to have a bond."

"Have you been blind? They had a bond back when they were fifteen years old on Risa. He was ready to marry her then!"

"I know. But he is a grown man now and she is a grown woman," Spock commented. "And his first _pon farr_ – if he has one – is not many years in the future. Most Vulcan males experience it at around age 28. He is nearly 25 now."

"But you were 36 the first time," Christine pointed out. "And he's more Human than you are. It's possible that he won't go through it at all."

"Nevertheless, he should be fully bonded before much longer. When we get back, I will speak with him and encourage him to pursue marriage with Maia. Before it is too late…"

The pair said no more and followed the trail of their daughter to the north.

* * *

"Cheroolapick!" Sapel called up into the thick tree branches. "I need to speak to Cheroolapick!"

Maia was scanning the branches as well. "I don't see any movement. I don't think they're here."

"They're here. I can sense them. Cheroolapick!"

Finally there was a stirring in the trees and a small black face with large golden eyes appeared. It chittered at the young man then began making its way down the tree trunk to the ground, where it bounced over to Sapel and stood up on its hind legs. Standing, it barely reached the man's chest and Sapel knelt down to be more the lemur's height.

It wasn't a lemur, of course, but the native sapient species on this planet. These people called themselves the Teeli and there were several sub-tribes of them. This particular group referred to their people as Teela'u.

Sapel held out his hand, palm up, and the Teeli male reached to lay its long-fingered paw against the man's arm, establishing a telepathic connection.

// _Cheroolapick?_ // Sapel asked mentally.

// _I am Cheroolapick,_ // the lemur confirmed. // _You not Spk._ //

// _No, I am Sapel, his son. My father is at another place. I have come to speak with you._ //

// _Speak._ //

// _I wish to know if Picku'acha'nich is still alive_ ,// Sapel sent to the lemur.

// _She lives but very old now_ ,// the creature replied. 

// _Is she here? Can you take me to her? She was a friend of mine many years ago_.//

// _All know of your friendship. I take you there, but she is high up. You climb?_ //

// _I can try_ ,// Sapel answered. Then he turned to Maia. "I'm going with him. Stay and watch over the horses. I won't be gone long."

"Be careful," the woman replied nervously and watched the lemuroid lead Sapel into the depths of the forest.

* * *

"What a night!" complained T'Larin as she rubbed her stiff neck. "How many more days do we have to do this?"

"Just a couple." T'Kai poked up the fire and added some twigs until is blazed up again.

"What do we have to eat?" the younger girl asked. "I'm starving."

"Just a bit of jerky and a piece of journey bread. Let's half it and then we can go looking for other food. Do you know how to fish?"

"Ugh," T'Larin said, wrinkling her nose. "I hate fish. That's meat, isn't it?"

Kai sighed. "Yes, but we're on a survival quest. We eat what we can catch or find. I have a hook and a line in my pack. Maybe I'll save a bit of the journey bread for bait, unless we can catch some bugs."

"Papa would kill us. You know he's a strict vegetarian."

"No, he's not," Kai answered. "While we're fishing, I'll tell you what I remember of when we lived here all alone. I don't remember much because I was very little, but they learned to hunt and forage while they were exiled here. We can certainly try to find plants but we'll eat whatever we can locate. Now, stop whining and let's have breakfast."

"I'm not whining!"

"You're doing a good imitation of it," responded the older girl. "I'm in charge here and you'll do what I say!"

"I'm telling on you when we get home!"

"Try it and see what Papa and Mama say."

T'Kai divided their remaining food as T'Larin pouted, but took no more nonsense from her sister. They were here for a logical reason and Papa would approve anything she did on this survival trip.

* * *

Tears rolling down his face, Soran snuggled into the warm body of Joey, the nearly grown werewolf cub. He was cold and hungry and feeling sorry for himself. How could Sapel have just left him here like this? He didn't want to be here! He wanted to be home in his bed and waiting for Mama to call him to breakfast. He wondered if he could just walk home and be done with it. He'd have to walk because during the night his horse had wandered off and he didn't know where it had gone. Not that he could have mounted it; it was too big for him to get up on without something to stand on. He had a pony-sized horse at the colony stables he usually rode, but Sapel had deliberately chosen the big quarter horse for just this reason. Soran couldn't handle the heavy stock saddle by himself, either. He was small in stature and slim in build.

Cursing his brother, Soran finally had to get up and go to the bathroom. Not that there was a bathroom. With some disgust, he stood away from camp and opened his pants, urinating into the leaf litter that covered the forest floor. He needed to defecate, too, but the prospect of squatting and then wiping his butt with a handful of leaves killed the urgency. He'd wait until he really had to go.

Back beside his bedroll, he knelt down to see what was left in his saddle bags. He still had a small cake of journey bread which he pulled out and began to nibble on as he thought about what he had to do. His fire had gone out during the night and he decided that the first thing was to get it started again. He had his firestones and he gathered tinder as Sapel had taught him. After a few minutes, the little flame was burning once more and he fed sticks and small dead branches onto it.

Joey got up and stretched, then wandered off into the woods until he was out of sight. Soran thought of calling him back but the wolf was probably going to hunt for his own breakfast. The boy didn't have anything to feed him and, besides, he had his own food to think of. It wouldn't be long before he would be hungry and he began to think of practical things like feeding himself.

Soran arose and decided to see if he could find some berries or roots or something edible. There _had_ to be something growing here in the woods. There was plenty of undergrowth with low bushes and vines. He didn't go too far from the campfire but he explored in a gradually widening circle. He was too frightened to go down to the river. Instead, he moved into the forest to look for fruit.

After an hour or so, he found what he was looking for. A low-growing shrub was heavy with black and red berries. The red ones didn't look quite ripe, but the black ones were succulent and juicy when he picked one to squash it in his hand. The aroma was sweet, too, and he quickly pulled a handful and started to cram them into his mouth.

A small black hand shot out to seize his wrist and stop him in mid-motion. // _No!!_ // said a voice in his head. // _Die!!_ //

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

Sapel had taken off his boots and socks, enabling him to use his toes to aid in gripping the tree bark as he climbed. It was harder than he remembered, but then he had been a small boy and now he was a good-sized man. Nevertheless, he persisted and at last he reached the small dwelling that perched in the tree branches. It looked more like a gigantic globe-shaped nest, limbs and vines woven together to form an enclosed, sheltered orb with an opening that enabled a number of lemuroids to come and go.

It was difficult for Sapel to squeeze himself into it, but now he was embracing his old friend, Picku'acha'nich, a venerable Teela'u matriarch whom he had first met far to the south when he was a boy and she a youngster. She was now old, her fur colored gray, and her black-skinned face wrinkled and dry. But her golden eyes shown as brightly as he remembered and she returned his hug tightly.

// _Picku!_ // he said, tears brightening his eyes.

// _Sapel! My old friend! You are big now!_ // 

// _Yes. I am full grown now, not a child as you knew me. And you have grown old_.//

// _It is the nature of things_.// The old lemuroid sat back, but kept her paw on the man's wrist so that their telepathic connection would remain. // _Tell me of yourself_.//

// _I have travelled much since we last met, Picku. Among the stars and to worlds far from here. Can you understand that?_ //

// _Show me_.// She closed her eyes and bowed her head slightly.

Sapel did the same and began to play through his mind the time that had passed since the two of them last parted. He travelled from Avalon to Vulcan aboard a fantastic home nest that flew through the stars, populated by beings of all sizes and shapes, dressed in colorful clothing. Once at the place of his ancestors, he and his siblings began a life on a dry, hot world teeming with people who looked like his father and himself, people as dry and hot as the world they trod. He showed her the unimaginable cities where he lived and studied under the tutelage of his father's father, of their wrath toward one another, and finally of his escape aboard another flying house. He played for her his adventures with this group, visiting worlds he had never known before. His mind touched upon his first matings in adulthood and yet he knew that he had not found his true partner. Here, his thoughts turned back to the love he had felt for Picku but knowing they could never be together. They were too different.

Turning back to his story, he reimagined the crash of his ship and how he was the only survivor. He told of the weeks he had spent recovering from his burns and trauma, but how he had learned to make peace with himself and go on with life. His true love had come to him unexpectedly and she waited down below, anxious for his return.

Picku expressed joy at this last and Sapel felt her grief of the unrequited love she had felt for him in their youth. Then she told him of her life since they had parted, of how her people had been nearly all slaughtered by the warring tribe near them, of how her father, Char-eek, had died at their hands, and how the survivors had fled for their lives to the east.

On the run, she had met her mate and they had produced a son before he had been killed. About that time, they had stumbled across Spock and Christine with their oldest children. Christine had just given birth to T'Kai and the two of them had nearly died, until they were rescued by the Teela'u group. Once they had all parted, she had given up hope of ever seeing them again.

The lemuroid people had settled into the forests to the east of the big river that separated the territory of plains and woods. Here they had hidden and even prospered somewhat for the decade between their flight and now. Picku had re-mated and had three more children. They had grown and mated with others of their kind and had children themselves. Now Picku was the only one of the original group who still survived and her first son was the leader of the group.

They were aware of when the humans had returned and built settlements and began to explore the land. However, Picku did not know these new people and recommended to her family that they leave these strangers strictly alone. They had been in hiding ever since.

Sapel lifted his head and pulled his mind from the deep contact, Picku doing the same. For a few seconds both were silent, collecting their thoughts. Then Picku said, // _Your family should not return. There is danger there_.//

// _I have faced worse_ ,// the young man answered.

// _Come and join us again. Our people would welcome those whom we know. I vouch for all of you_.//

Sapel smiled. // _You do not know all of us_ ,// he replied. // _My youngest brother and sister are strangers to you_.//

// _So you think. We have watched you and kept our help nearby. Even now, we have our people near them_.// Picku's golden eyes darkened. // _You should rejoin Soran and stay with him. He may not survive as you left him_.//

Sapel sat up straighter, startled. // _What do you mean? I have taught him to survive_.//

// _Return now and rejoin him!_ // the old lemur ordered. // _Go now, Sapel! Danger is coming and he must be with you!_ //

// _What do you mean? What danger?_ //

// _Go at once! Then get your sisters! Time is running short for all of you!_ //

Sapel sat dumbfounded for another minute, trying to understand what his old friend meant, but then she jerked her hand away and uttered a commanding word in her own language. The man did not hesitate further, but left the nest-home and scrambled down the tall tree, followed by a group of lemuroids all urging him on his way with chattered vocalizations.

* * *

Soran jerked his arm away and whirled to stare in shock at the strange creature standing beside him. It was barely the boy's height, upright on its hind legs. It was covered with gray fur and, in its black face, large golden eyes gleamed, holding him motionless as they both studied one another. Then the creature reached back out and clamped its small black paw around the Soran's wrist.

// _No eat berries_ ,// it said in his mind. // _Make sick, maybe die_.//

"What are you?" Soran asked shakily. "Are you talking in my head?"

// _My name Kiq'aqa'peech_ ,// the lemur answered. // _I come to watch for you. Your sib is coming_.//

"My what?"

// _Sib. Kin. Next brother_.//

"You mean Sapel? He's coming back?"

There was an affirmative answer in the boy's mind. // _Danger come, too. Where big animal?_ //

"What do you mean? My horse or Joey?"

The image of a ferocious werewolf appeared in Soran's mind.

"Oh, he left me this morning. Hunting, I think." The young Vulcan tried concentrating to send a message to the lemur. // _My horse is just grazing by the river_.//

// _Time to come with me_ ,// said the lemur, tugging slightly on Soran's arm. // _Must be ready_.//

"Ready for what?" demanded Soran, but the lemuroid was already hurrying away.

* * *

Spock abruptly pulled his horse to a halt as his right hand went up to his temple, pressing hard into his psy point there.

Christine reined her horse in, as well, alarmed. "Spock? What is it?"

"I … don't know," he answered, his eyes squeezed shut and pain etched on his face. "I am receiving feelings of distress from all of our children. I cannot tell what is happening."

"What?! All of them?!" The woman reached over to grasp her husband's arm, but he shook her off.

"No! Don't touch me," he ground out. "I am attempting to decipher their distress."

Holding her breath, Christine waited until the Vulcan raised his head and dropped his hand back to his lap. "Something is happening," he said finally. "I cannot tell what. However, Jenny is closest at hand. She is in danger. We must find her right away and trust that Sapel will take care of the others."

He urged his horse into a gallop and, after a second, Christine did the same, but her heart was pounding with fear and frustration that she could not be everywhere at once.

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

The sun was moving toward the western sky and the afternoon drifting toward twilight when T'Kai called to her sister. "Over here, Lari! I've found a whole tree with ripe fruit!"

The younger girl came running. "Are you sure those are safe?"

"Absolutely! I remember us picking and eating these when I was little." She had already begun to pull the small green globes off their stems. Popping one into her mouth, she shoved another toward T'Larin. "Try one."

Lari bit into the fruit cautiously then chewed enthusiastically. "These are great!" she managed to say around a mouthful of pulp, finally swallowing. "There's enough here to get us through the next couple of days."

"Yes. I expect that it will get monotonous but we'll get by. And we should be back home after that." T'Kai pulled her shirt up to form a holder and began to fill it with the orbs. T'Larin did the same.

The girls worked diligently for about half an hour, then Kai noticed the position of the sun. "Come on. We need to get back. It will be dark soon."

They started back toward the little valley and the cave where they were staying. It wasn't far, but they had to hurry. They had to cross the little creek that split the valley floor then climb back up the other side of the bluff to the cave entrance.

It had been a surprisingly good day. After checking to see that the horses hadn't wandered far and were happily grazing nearby, the girls had spent the bulk of the day searching for food. Both were reluctant to kill anything and had felt that there was enough plant material in the vicinity that they could survive easily. T'Kai had been very young, but she remembered her mother carrying her on her hip as she foraged with Sapel and Jenny. That had been years ago, long before they were rescued, when Spock and Christine had been exiles on this planet.

The girls had talked as they covered the area, collecting roots, fruit and leafy plants. They had refilled their water bags at the fast-running stream and rested beneath the sparse trees in the area. Now on their way back, the older sister had a contemplative expression. "I can remember how we used to have to travel every year," Kai said. "We would spend the summers here in the valley, but then go south to the sea once winter was near."

"Why?" asked T'Larin. "That's so far away."

"It was necessary. The winters here are too harsh to be able to find food. Sea Home is more temperate and food is available there. But in the springtime, there is an explosion of biting insects there and it is intolerable. So, back we would come here to the valley."

"And you walked the whole way?"

T'Kai nodded. "It was the only way to get anywhere. We didn't have horses. Well, at least not Earth horses. I can remember the year that we were rescued by Starfleet, Papa caught one of the little mezzies and tamed it enough that we used it to pull a travois to hold our things." The girl was referring to one of the primitive horse-like animals that resembled the prehistoric Earth animal called a _mesohippus_. It was not quite a horse, but a grazing animal that resembled the ancestor of equines.

"What happened to it?" asked T'Larin.

"I don't know. We were at Sea Home and there was a hurricane. It blew our cabin down and destroyed the corral. The mezzie had a foal and both of them escaped. We never saw them again. I hope they survived. We'll never know for sure."

They had just crossed the little creek and were starting up the trail to the cave when Kai suddenly froze in her tracks and stared off to her right. "Stop! Don't move!"

"What--" T'Larin stopped in mid-utterance for she saw it, too. Not far down the creek, a large werewolf was sniffing around, not the Terran mythical animal but the breed of predator that resembled a huge rodent, vicious and armed with slicing teeth and claws. The girl's heart began pounding ferociously because her earlier incarnation had been snatched at birth by one of these creatures and killed before her parents' eyes. It was Larin's worst nightmare come true and her first instinct was to shriek and run.

"Move very, very slowly and quietly to the cave," T'Kai whispered. "They don't have great eyesight and maybe it hasn't noticed us yet."

T'Larin began to inch closer to the cave entrance, followed by her sister. At the movement, however, the wolf jerked its head up and its snout worked at picking up the scent. T'Kai dropped the fruit she was carrying and shoved Lari inside, even as the predator leaped toward them.

Screaming, the younger girl ran for the back of the cave while Kai grabbed the entrance cover and jammed it against the opening and held it. A heavy weight hit it and she used all her strength to keep it in place. Still the frantic tearing at the wooden gateway began to rip it apart, the wolf's razor-sharp teeth and claws making short work of the flimsy gate.

"Help me!" shouted Kai, but Lari was curled into a ball, covering her head and continuing to shriek in terror. Part of the gate tore away and a steel-tipped paw shoved through, attempting to snag its prey, Kai managed to avoid it, but knew it was only a matter of seconds before the beast would rip its way through and then they would be dead.

Something large and gray collided with the werewolf and knocked it away from the entry, then Kai could only hear the sounds of ferocious fighting and the yelps of pain and anger. She didn't dare look out, but ran back to her sister and seized her in her arms, huddling against the wall with her. Two of the large animals were fighting to the death and she couldn't make herself decipher exactly what was going on.

And then a blue bolt of lightning flashed across the cave opening and there was one last squeal of pain, then all was quiet. Then there was the sound of pain and whining. Something was hurt out there, but Kai didn't dare get up to find out what.

A few seconds later, the girls heard footsteps – human footsteps – and the shadow of a man fell across the entrance. The sisters quivered in fear and surprise as the man leaned down to peer in at them.

"You two okay?" asked Sapel.

* * *

Jenny was drawn by the sound of distressed wailing and she looked down into the nearly dry river bed to see a young antelope mired up to its chest in mud. It was young, little more than a baby and had obviously gotten separated from its mother, probably when the herd was crossing this very river. Actually, neither the mother nor the herd was anywhere in sight and Jenny suspected that the doe might be dead, possibly killed by predators. 

The fawn bleated again, struggling feebly, and the girl's heart went out to it. The cries sounded so much like a human baby that her mind flashed to the child she never got to hold in her arms. Her little Stefin, lost to her and wailing for rescue. She had to save this little animal from its fate before predators found it, too, and waded out to kill it.

Jenny put down her backpack on the high bank of the river and searched for a way down. It was about ten feet from rim to river bed at this point, steep, but she thought she could make it if she was careful. Gingerly, she stepped down and began to pick her way, hanging onto roots and rocks to steady her progress.

The water in the river looked to be barely ankle deep, mostly sand and silt with winding streams of reddish water flowing through it. Undoubtedly, when the rains came, the river filled with a churning, turbulent flood, but now in this season it was little more than a stream.

Jenny hesitated, looking to find the best path out to the fawn, then stepped off the dry bank onto the mud. Immediately, her foot sank up past her boot and stuck fast. The deep sucking mud was mostly liquid and the word "quicksand" flashed through her brain. She tried to pull her foot free but to no avail. Indeed, her struggling caused her foot to sink deeper and she was forced down onto her other knee. That knee began to sink, too.

She grabbed her leg with both hands and began to work to get free, but the sandy mud simply pulled her farther in. Panic sparked in her mind and she struggled harder, understanding now how the little antelope had become mired, unable to escape.

More and more, Jenny fought to pull herself out, beginning to fight frantically. Then a deep voice commanded, "Jenn – take my hand!"

She looked up to see her father bending over the rim, extending his arm down toward her. "Papa!" she cried in relief and reached up, but the distance was too far. She couldn't reach him.

"Be still," Spock commanded. "I'm coming down!"

Christine was peering down as well and ordered, "Stop struggling, baby! It's just making you sink faster!"

Spock slipped over the edge and worked his way down. Reaching toward her again, this time he grasped her wrist and she grabbed his. Pulling gently and steadily, his Vulcan strength gradually drew her clear of the mud, although her foot slipped out of her sunken boot with a squelching noise. Spock pulled his daughter up and she gratefully sank into his arms.

"Papa! Thank you! I thought I was a goner!"

"A little later and you would have been," he replied and then passed her on up into the embrace of her mother.

Then he started down toward the water level. "Where are you going?!" cried Jenny.

"To get your boot. We did not bring a spare pair," Spock replied. Then, careful not to fall into the murky trap, he bent down and fished the sodden footwear out of the mud, coating his lower arm in the process. Once he had it, he scrambled back up to the level ground.

Jenny was still hugging Christine. "How did you find me?" she asked.

"It was not hard to find your trail and track you," her father answered and held up the mired boot. "We should find a stream where we can wash the mud off this … and both of us. This will dry soon and it will be harder to get this off."

"Okay. There is a creek not far back that way, but…" She paused as the little fawn cried out plaintively once again. "But what about the baby down there? We can't leave it to die."

Spock and Christine exchanged glances, then the Vulcan took out his phaser and aimed carefully. The thin blue beam shot out in a tight streak and in another second the antelope was dead.

"Papa!" Jenny cried. "Why did you do that?!"

"Baby, we couldn't rescue him," Christine replied, stroking her daughter's hair. "And we couldn't leave him to starve to death or be killed by predators. This was the most merciful way. We had to do the best thing more than once when we were exiled here. And think how many predators would have died trying to get to the fawn. They would have bogged down, too. Even with the fawn dead, there are bound to be scavengers and they'll get stuck there, too. But we can't take care of all of them. Nature is cruel, but the fawn is out of its misery."

Jenny sighed. "I suppose so." She changed the subject. "You brought another horse with you!"

"Of course," said Spock. "Knowing you were on foot, that was the logical thing to do when we found you."

That made T'Jenn laugh a little. "Well, let's get my backpack and go wash up. I guess my pilgrimage is over."

"And have you made peace with yourself?" asked her mother.

"I think so. I feel like I've grown up a lot and laid Stefin to rest," Jenny answered, looking down contemplatively. "I'm ready to get on with my life now."

"Good," Christine answered. "Then let's get you two cleaned up and start back for home. We've got a lot--"

There was a blinding flash that caused the sky and the surrounding landscape to disappear in a searing flare of light, momentarily blinding the three people. The horses reared and screamed in terror and only the fact that they were tied to a nearby bush kept them from stampeding away.

"What the hell--??" shouted Christine, shielding her eyes with her arm.

Before she could finish, a rolling thunder of sound knocked them to the ground, pounding like a thousand cannons and causing the earth to shake beneath them.

"Earthquake!" shouted Jenny over the deep rumble that drowned out nearly all other sound.

"No!" her father yelled back doing his best to shield his wife and daughter. And then a vast cloud of debris and dust and wind hit them, keeping them pinned down. This time the horses did break free and fled before the maelstrom.

When the cloud had passed, the three people raised their heads, covered with dust and dirt, coughing and trying to clear their noses and eyes. Slowly, then got to their knees.

"What happened?" demanded Christine, shaking the gray dust out of her hair. "That wasn't an earthquake, was it?"

"No," answered Spock. "Something else. Perhaps a meteorite strike near here. It would explain what we've just experienced."

Off to the southwest, in the vicinity of Alpha Colony, there came another blinding flash, smaller but with the same rumble and a smaller debris cloud. In the sky, there was a spreading glow of destruction and, as they watched, there began a shower of burning meteor streaks and fireballs falling to earth.

"The starbase!" Spock gasped. "The starbase has exploded!"

"How?!" Christine uttered in shock. "There was no reason for it to do that!"

"Warp core breach perhaps?" the Vulcan replied, watching the fragments streaking through the atmosphere. "And what was the second flash we saw just now? Was the colony hit?" He lowered his gaze to watch the distant mushroom cloud roiling up into the air, spreading out as it hit the stratosphere.

"What's that?" asked Jenny, pointing to something in the sky, rushing toward them.

Within seconds, the scream of engines reached them and a ship streaked past … a ship with a large bird of prey painted on its underside, one that Spock had seen before.

It was a Romulan Warbird and it was coming from the direction of Alpha Colony, its mission accomplished.

THE END


End file.
